How to Effectively Lead your Family as a Leader

Families need help. But before one can help them effectively, we need to first look at our own families before we can effectively help others.

How is your family life?

Jesus said these words in Matthew 7:3-5:
Mat 7:3  “Why do you see the speck in your brother’s eye but fail to notice the beam in your own eye?
Mat 7:4  Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when the beam is in your own eye?
Mat 7:5  You hypocrite! First remove the beam from your own eye, and then you will see clearly enough to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

If we want to use this command to work among families in our churches, a church leader must first look at his or her family life.

Problems at home can destroy a Leader’s work

The family life of a church leader is very important. Many leaders suffer from problems at home. It is not easy for a church leader to advise an unhappy family and a young couple when his own family life is not happy. Failure to solve his own problems renders him powerless to effectively advise others. The leader needs to first learn how to lead his own family, otherwise he cannot be a good example and his family problems will break his heart.
On a positive note, if a leader is a good husband and father, he can be an inspiration to his church. God can heal unhappy families. That is good news. Everyone needs to understand that family life is very important. That includes mine and yours.

Your family life comes before your work

Any church leader needs to understand that we are first of all children of God. Secondly, we are fathers or mothers. Thirdly, we are pastors or whatever profession we are in. This order ensures a balanced and disciplined life. The qualification of a church leader is clearly stated in 1 Timothy 3:2, 4-5:
1Ti 3:2  Therefore, an elder must be blameless, the husband of one wife, stable, sensible, respectable, hospitable to strangers, and teachable.
1Ti 3:4  He must manage his own family well and have children who are submissive and respectful in every way.
1Ti 3:5  For if a man does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?

The Lord in His wisdom knows that if a church leader’s home is poorly managed, it will be a heavy burden on him. He cannot be effective on his work. Before a church leader is ordained, there has to be an examination of his qualification with regards to God’s standards. His church and the kingdom of God can be severely damaged if the church leader is not faithful to his or her spouse and does not correctly lead his or her children.

People need good examples

What can a leader do to touch lives? A church leader can influence others in two ways. The root of a leader’s power is the way he lives what he teaches according to 1 Timothy 4:16, which says, “Pay close attention to your life and your teaching. Persevere in these things, because if you do so, you will save both yourself and those who listen to you.”

What will make people better respond to what we preach is for our own words to agree with our lives. The way we conduct our lives should be living sermons. Good examples make others to obey Christ more.
According to the Scriptures, people grow and learn by hearing the Word, seeing someone live it, then choosing to obey the Word, and finally gaining personal experience. We have the following scriptures as support to what has just been said.

“Likewise, keep practicing these things: what you have learned, received, heard, and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you.”(Philippians 4:9).
1 Peter 5:2-3:
1Pe 5:2 Be shepherds of God’s flock that is among you, watching over it, not because you must but because you want to, and not greedily but eagerly, as God desires.
1Pe 5:3 Do not lord it over the people entrusted to you, but be examples to the flock.

In conclusion, there are many Christians who came to the Lord and their marriages and families were saved through good examples of godly living by their church leaders than just their words. It is important to study and learn more about godly family life since church ministry depends on it. After learning, let us first apply it to our own homes. Then we can effectively teach the people of God through words and by example.

May 20, 2017May 20, 2017 by Life Coach

God’s Plan for Marriage: God Joins Couples Together- Part 1

What is God’s plan for marriage? God’s plan for marriage is revealed in the Bible. God joins a couple together. Nowadays most young men and women want to move together before marriage. They normally say that no one needs to get married these days, married people divorce in any case. Now, let us see what God says about marriage so we can help people who are faced with marriage problems.

Why do we get married?

According to Matthew 19:4-6, the Bible reads as follows:

Mat 19:4 He answered them, “Haven’t you read that the one who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female’

Mat 19:5 and said, ‘That is why a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?

Mat 19:6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must never separate.”

The Pharisees asked Jesus about divorce. The Lord then explained what marriage is, its origin, and the reason why God joins people together. Jesus used the two chapters found in Genesis to respond to their question. According to Genesis 1:27, the Bible says, “So God created mankind in his own image; in his own image God created them; he created them male and female.” In Genesis 2:24 we read, “Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother and cling to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” God formed Eve from Adam’s rib and then brought her to be Adam’s wife. So we can see that it is God who joins people together.

God brings people together through marriage

It is God who joins a man to a woman in marriage according to Matthew 19:6, which says, “so they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must never separate.” Mark 10:9 says, “Therefore, what God has joined together, man must never separate.” God joined Adam and Eve. So Jesus reaffirmed God’s plan for marriage. God joins couples together. He puts the two in a yoke and expects them to be bound together for the rest of their lives.

There are different ways lovers meet and become a couple through marriages. Some know each other from childhood. Others meet in different places like school, church, at work, or in their sports activities, etc. Some couples are introduced to each other by friends or parents. But at the end of it all, God joins people together.

God wants couples to learn from Him on how to conduct their marriage life. He wants to help couples. God wants to walk with them through the long journey of marriage life. As long as a couple allows God to be part of their lives, He will be there. God makes you suitable for each other as a couple. The challenge comes when a marriage partner is unwilling to learn and change. No one enters into marriage perfect. Each partner grows in marriage life. However, when each partner is willing to learn and change, the two get perfected for each other. So the oneness improves.
It is important to treat your marriage life as a call from God because it is. Whatever you do in marriage is important. A husband and a wife have different roles to play in marriage. The two who are now one have a responsibility to build a happy marriage. You serve God through your marriage. Each must care for the other. Make each other happy. That is God’s plan for marriage. He joins couples together. Therefore, it is important for a couple to get a marriage coach so they can learn more about marriage. In any field, no one can be an expert without learning and then practice what they have learned.

May 20, 2017May 20, 2017 by Life Coach

God Uses Families

Family was God’s idea from the beginning of time. So it was God’s original intention for marriages to be happy. This was to ensure that all children could grow up in happy Christian homes. Today, there is a challenge in family life. As a result many children lost respect for their parents. They no longer obey them. There are also children who grow up in homes with single parents.

What do scriptures say about family?

1) God made the family

Where did a family originate? We indicated earlier on that a family was God’s idea. That means it was never initiated by man. Families did not just happen. The idea of family came with God before Adam and Eve fell into sin according to Genesis 1:28, which says, “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.” We note from this scripture that marriage, family and home did not result from sin. These institutions have been part of human society since the time God created the first people.

There is a need for strong and healthy families. We learn from scripture that the home and family come first in terms of importance. Even though we read of nations, tribes, and governments, they cannot take the place of the family.

2) God works through families

The Word of God tells us about the great heroes of faith. It tells us of holy people of God. But it does not end there. Behind those heroes of faith we are told of either one or both of their parents. These heroes include among others; Abraham, Moses, Joshua, Samuel, Gideon, David, Isaiah, Paul, Peter and Andrew, James and John, and others. The parents of these heroes shared in the glory of their children as they also contributed in their make-up as servants of God. So through the indication of their parents, God is showing us that families have a role to play in God’s great plan.

When making a covenant with Abraham, God included his children. God promised to be the God of Abraham and his descendants forever. God works through families according to the following scriptures:

Genesis 15:5, “And he brought him forth abroad, and said, Look now toward heaven, and tell the stars, if thou be able to number them: and he said unto him, So shall thy seed be.”

Deuteronomy 7:9, “And Noah went in, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons’ wives with him, into the ark, because of the waters of the flood.”

Psalms 105:8, “He hath remembered his covenant for ever, the word which he commanded to a thousand generations.”

We can see from the above scriptures that indeed we serve a God of families.
I am glad that through the covenant with Abraham, God brought every nation into His family according to Galatians 3:28-29, which reads as follows:

Gal 3:28  Faith in Christ Jesus is what makes each of you equal with each other, whether you are a Jew or a Greek, a slave or a free person, a man or a woman.
Gal 3:29 So if you belong to Christ, you are now part of Abraham’s family, and you will be given what God has promised.
We learn from this covenant that families are important to God. God is not just interested in the believer, but He is also interested in their children. He is a great loving God.

3) God uses families to bless children

Scriptures show us that the right place for educating and training children is family. God clearly tells us as parents how we should train our children to know, love, serve, and obey Him. The Lord uses Christian parents to teach their children about what is right and wrong, and how to know and serve God. Even though Pastors are well qualified to teach our children, they cannot replace the parents because children spend most of their time with their parents. Furthermore, the characters of children are formed during the first six years of their lives and they are with the parents at these ages.

The other important point is that children do not only learn the ways of God by what they hear, but they mostly learn by what they see their parents do. So as parents we show our children what it means to be a Christian. What you do in the presence of children is very important. Understand therefore, that children are learning and that will be part of their characters.

According to Proverbs 20:7, we read, “Good people live right, and God blesses the children who follow their example.”

Proverbs 13:20 says, “Wise friends make you wise, but you hurt yourself by going around with fools.” So children learn from the wisdom or foolishness of their parents.
We learn that God the Creator hates other gods. He expects His people to only worship Him. God wants us to teach our children to serve the right God. Look what Deuteronomy 12:2 says, “But the nations that live there worship other gods. So after you capture the land, you must completely destroy their places of worship–on mountains and hills or in the shade of large trees.”

So as a parent teach your children what you have also learned through your personal experience with God. Children must learn to know, love, and obey the God of their parents.

4) Everyone must be part of a family

As much as people now love to be independent, it is important to be part of a family. Someone who is cut off from a family is nothing any more. As coals can only glow when they remain together, every person needs to be part of a family. When a family is broken down, the lives of young people are ruined. In order to build God’s church; we must build strong and happy families in our churches.

In conclusion, may it be indicated that since God initiated families and works through families, He instructs us to build happy families. A healthy family life and love at home is very important for the children. This is also important for the growth of the kingdom of God. So it is important for parents to be born again so they can properly teach and train them in the fear of the Lord.

May 19, 2017May 20, 2017 by Life Coach